I never knew

I was a geek at school. Let me be honest I was a nerd. I was good at science I wore glasses and was somewhat lax about my personal appearance - hair was a mess most of the time. I had spots for goodness sake. I was teased but not much. Either because my brother beat them up for me or because I gave them a sharp set down.

I grew up. The acne cleared, the puppy fat disappeared due to lots of rowing. I was however still a nerd. I did not drink at parties and did not seek out the dark corners of the sport's field in male company.

One of the girls I went to school with is now an author and writes a column in a national newspaper. She was popular at school, pretty, slim and wasn't acne riddled. She was also not above a bit of heavy petting. In her column she talks about her struggles with bulimia and depression. Apparently this was all going on at the age of 15 and carried on till in her 20's.

I was shocked. I never knew. As far as I knew she had a great life. Her big brother didn't beat up boys who asked his sister to the school disco. She was popular. Apparently she had a great fear of failing and of disappointing others.

I never thought of myself as a happy teenager but looking back maybe I was. I knew who I wanted to be and that whatever happened my parents and brother loved me. I really hope my daughters will grow up to know who they are and that we love them. And that they do not have to go through such insecurity to find themselves.