Loo seat

We had a bit of a lavatorial disaster day. First the oldest daughter decides to help by putting new loo paper on the roll thing (holder? what do you call those anyway?). The whole new roll ended up in the unflushed loo. So that went straight into the bin.

Later on that same day I hear a crash and then the inevitable shout of "Mummy". The loo seat on the downstairs loo had come of. Sheared off. How on earth did she manage that? All right, the downstairs convenience is in need of refurbishment (or bombing or something) but our plumber has let us down, so this is on hold for now.

Luckily my youngest saw the positive side of things. "At least Daddy won't have to lift the lid anymore when he wants to go. And we won't have to tell him off for leaving it up."

I have taken this into consideration but have decided to opt for a new seat.

Conkers

"Would you like to feed the cat?"

"No, we are busy ... stuffing conkers in your gloves."

Marriage

At breakfast.

"Mummy? Can you marry your best friend?"

"Yes, of course you can. I was friends with your Daddy before I married him."

"Oh good! I'll marry Thomas then!"


After pre-school:

"I told Thomas I would marry him. He said that would be all right with him."


I must ask Thomas' Mummy how she feels about this. I think he will be a lucky man indeed. She's a good catch my eldest; clever and beautiful, if a little stubborn. But maybe they should to wait another 13 years give or take.

Babies

CE: "Mummy is Auntie K. going to have a boy or a girl?"

Mummy:"We don't know yet. We'll know when it is born."

CE:"But will it be a girl? Auntie K. wants a girl. She likes pink"

CS:"Don't worry it will a human baby."


Auntie K. has had her baby and it is human and a little girl.

Thank you

Dear Startrite,

Thank you for making "daisy dot raspberry patent". They are the pinkest most shiniest shoes and they are mine. Not my sister's, all mine and I am not sharing. And they are pinker and shinier than Ellie's shoes. I think she is jealous.

May I suggest that for future product development you consider making the hearts on the soles pink as well. Only my sister has a purple fairy on the soles of her shoes and I don't. Thank you in advance.

Yours sincerely
CE Yoastie

De gustibus non est disputandum

"I am going to be four in August, you know." Charlie announced.
"Oh, will you have a party with presents and cake?" Mrs Yoastie asked.
"Yes, I want a spider-action-man." Charlie was really warming to the subject "And chocolate cake and ice cream and lots of sweets."
"What does spider-action-man do? Is he married to Barbie?" Mrs Yoastie asked teasingly.
"No! He is not married to Barbie!" Charlie replied "When's your Birthday? Did you get a present."
"Yes" she said showing him her wrist"Mr Yoastie gave me this bracelet."
"Why didn't he get you anything nice?" asked Charlie.

Cat's Dinner

Our cat used to be the most useless hunter in the neighbourhood. However since we moved to the country he has developed his skills and now regularly brings home birds and mice.

I am not keen on the bird killing. I have a fear of flapping wings, so when he brings home half dead birds I scream the house down. I have passed this fear onto my youngest daughter. One time the cat brought in a living robin, which decided to fly around the dinning room. In a panic I phoned my Dad to come and rescue me (or should that have been the bird). He abandoned his coffee and jumped into the car to come over. I think the screaming grandchild helped to convince him of the urgency of the situation.

This Saturday Charlie, CS and CE had just relocated to the dinning room for some juice when I heard panicked squeaks outside. The cat was playing with a large mouse or small rat. I closed the door and the catflap. I did consider rescuing the poor rodent but having seen it I felt it was best to let the cat finish what he started. The three children found all this very interesting. "Just like animal TV!" (nature programmes I think)

Charlie was later collected by his father. The most exciting thing he had done: seen the cat with the mouse. "What happens to the mouse now?"asked Charlie's father. "It gets eaten by the cat."CS informed him. "I guess the cat won't want to eat his dinner in that case." replied Charlie's father. "Well, that's his problem, isn't it?"said CS.

Frogs

CS really likes frogs. I don't know why. Maybe because they are green but she just does. Her two favourite cuddly toys are Lillypad (big green frog) and Mr Jeremy Fisher (little green frog). It was no surprise therefore when she like the frogs in "Flushed Away". However after having watched this film CS now claims that:
English frogs say: ribbit
Dutch and German frogs say: Kwaak
French frogs say: We surrender!

In Touch

Yesterday my girls were playing with the neighbourhood children. Charlie noticed I have a carabiner as a keyring. He went to find his "lock". He came back with his big brother (nine years old) in tow. Could they come and play with the girls at their house. Yes, but only if their mother agreed. Also was E sure he wanted to come over? All the toys we have are for younger children and mainly aimed at the under 4's. Barbie is really the only toy we have in his age group. That was fine he likes "women's things" "oh, are you in touch with your feminine side E?" "Eh?" "Do you like dresses, Barbie that kind of thing?" "Eugh! NO!"
Well I did not think it would be a success but E and the little Yoasties had great fun this afternoon sticking love-hearts and cutting out pictures of flowers and the like out of old magazines and brochures. They made beautiful collages with glitter and everything. Charlie found "What Car?". He will either drive a BMW or an Alfa Romeo when he is older or maybe both. (He did not like the Octavia much)
Maybe E who normally charges around like a lunatic when he is with the other boys is in touch with his feminine side after all.

Peru

Out of nowhere Aidan decided to start a conversation with me. "Daddy says its too expensive for all four of us to go to Peru." he told me looking very serious.
"Oh, are you going to Peru then?" I asked.
"No, Peru is too expensive." replied Aidan looking slightly annoyed and disappointed that I had not listened to him.

Cinderella

CE.:"Mummy, is Sheree R and M's mummy?"
Mrs Y.:"Yes, she is ."
CE.:"And Riley, she is his mummy?"
Mrs Y.:"No, not Riley. She looks after Riley while his mummy works. Sheree is his childminder."
CE.:"Sheree looks after him instead of his mummy?"
Mrs Y.:"Well, only till she picks him up. But yes, Sheree looks after him instead of his mummy."
CE.:"Oh, is Sheree Riley's wicked stepmother?"
Mrs Y.:"No, why do you think that?"
CE.:"The wicked stepmother looks after Cinderella instead of Cinderella's real mummy. Sheree is Riley's wicked stepmother."

Confused

Charlie, the three year old from two doors down, is confused. We now have three cars on our drive. This in Charlie's view is odd. There is only one Mummy and one Daddy in our house, so two cars should be enough. And how do we know which car to drive? They are all silver. It was helpfully pointed out by his older brother that one was gold- actually. (Mr Yoastie chipped in at this stage with Platinum - Actually). Mummies and Daddies do not drive the same car. His Mummy and Daddy have different cars and so do Sam's and Rowan's - therefore you should each have a different car. And the third one needs to go.
I thought about explaining about the company car and the different number plates (to help you tell them apart). I even considered explaining about the fact that we are trying to sell one of the cars. I have to admit to telling lies to Charlie. I told him that Mr Yoastie was collecting silver cars. This seemed to satisfy him.
Today he asked me if my daddy had outgrown the car and that is why he needed a new one. Charlie has outgrown his tricycle and has just been given a bicycle.